On Reflection and Return

Here we are, deep in the Month of Elul, and while the HIgh Holy Days are quickly approaching, our practice during Elul is significant, and, for many, crucial in preparing for the High Holy Days and the coming year.

Elul, the last month of the Jewish Calendar, is a time of fruition, reflection and return. The name Elul comes to us from the Akkadian language, and was incorporated into Judaism during the Babylonian Exile. While in Akkadian it meant "harvest month", The Jewish authorities, the Rabbis and Sages, also associate the name with the acronym Aleph, Lamed, Vav, Lamed, which stands for "Ani Ledodi V'Dodi Li", a verse from the Song of Songs meaning "I am my beloved's and my beloved's". This popular verse, commonly used as wedding vows, here refers to the relationship between humans and the Divine. During Elul we consciously return to the Divine and our lives within it. In Hebrew we call this "Tshuva" which, fittingly, means both "return" and "answer".

What does this mean for us? How do we renew or rejuvenate our connection with the Divine? We start with Self-Reflection, reflecting on our thoughts and actions of the past year, and our emotions. I like to do this in two stages: first a long walk, and then some journaling. If Journaling is not your thing, try writing yourself, or somebody else, a letter instead.

The second step is of amends, to others, to ourselves, our ancestors and the Divine. How can we make amends and start repairing the chasm between our reality and our aspirations? The third is making changes, in our lives and our actions. When we return to our true selves, we get closer to the Divine as well.

The magical and ritual part of this goes beyond our thoughts. The ritual of Tshuva relies on sound magic. Traditionally the Shofar, the horn, is blown twice a day during Elul. The Shofar pierces the heavens and reaches the Divine. It also awakens the Divine within us. For many of us, who do not have a Shofar handy, a different kind of sound may be used. I sing.

All of these can be done in different stages, and repeated throughout the month. They get stronger as we near the High Holy Days, and rising during the High Holy Days, beginning on Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, and peak during Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, that ends this period.

Repeated self-reflection, making amends and changes, and cyclical return to the Divine and the divine within us are at the heart of Elul, and at the heart of Jewish Magic.

Happy Shavuot!

Tonight, at sundown, we celebrate the holiday of Shavuot. 

The word “shavuot” literally means “weeks”, and the holiday occurs exactly seven weeks after Passover. It commemorates the Israelite’s receiving of the Torah, when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the ten commandments. Shavuot is joyful, for several reasons, though as a child I knew only that it meant lots of flowers, and my mother’s special cheese cake. 

The holiday celebrates the first harvest, and the traditional food is all things dairy. We eat blintzes (cheese and fruit-filled thin crepes), Bourekas (savory cheese-filled filo dough), and of course, cheese cake. All this joy and feasting is in celebration of the Torah as well as the representation of Canaan as the land of milk and honey. According to scripture, the very earth celebrated receiving the Torah, as the slopes of Mount Sinai, suddenly filled with verdant greenery and colorful flower blooms! (and hence the flower tradition)

During the rabbinical period, a tradition was formed called “Tikkun Leil Shavuot” (The repairing of the eve of Shavuot). The Zohar tells us that the people of Israel overslept that morning, and had to be awakened by Moses to receive the Torah. In order to make up for this, Kabbalists stayed awake all night, reading the scripture, and poetry, discussing and learning together, to ensure being awake when the sun rose. In addition to showing our commitment, staying up all night studying creates an inner spiritual growth and understanding in those staying up, and that too is a reason to celebrate.

The Bible (in Deuteronomy)  tells us that the people were awake and that the coming of the commandments was announced with thunder, lightning, and God’s voice itself, which no human can bear. They could not have slept through that if they tried.

We don’t know what the people actually heard on that morning, but we do know that they, and much of the world in later centuries, would never be the same.

For witchy folks, Shavuot is a good time to focus on our inner values, and our own strength. What are your rules for righteous living? What are your personal ethics? As we light candles on the eve of this holiday (as every holiday), try dressing the candles with fresh flower petals, say a word or two of gratitude for the abundance the spring brings to our gardens, the abundance, seen and unseen, in your life.

Do you have any Shavuot traditions or rituals? Please share them below!

Wishing you all a joyful Shavuot! May you find inner enlightenment and spiritual growth, may your surroundings suddenly bloom and please, have some cheesecake!

Searching

A clear lake, the Sea of Galilee, with palm trees in the forefront and faded hills in the background

I was surrounded by the most beautiful shade of green I have ever seen. I felt nothing but calm and wonder. My eyes wide open, my breathing passages naturally closed. I was immersed in the gentle, sweet waters of the lake, looking around at the beautiful green, wanting to absorb it into me.

I don't know how long I was under water when I felt strong hands reach for me, strong arms surround my little body, holding me and lifting me up, out of that calm green. Away from the wonder. Away from quiet and into commotion.

I was pulled up into sunlight, harsh and bright. My calm was gone, as was my wonder. All I could feel was anger, verging on rage. I had no words to describe it. I did not know the words.

The quiet, seemingly endless, green, I felt, contained knowledge and peace. I was there, and then I wasn't.

I was now in my father's arms. He pulled me out of the waters of the Sea of Galilee. I was about two years old. I had been lying on an air mattress when my dog, wanted to say hi, flipped it over. Into the water, I went. Into the green, and the absolute calm.

I have been searching for that shade of green ever since. Searching for the calm, and the knowledge and wonders I know it possesses.

Post-script At two years old I nearly drowned in that lake; at about six years old I learned to swim there, submerging myself on purpose and swimming toward sound: my aunt's bangle bracelets gingling sound waves through the water.